My salad-dressing conditioner recipe

He folks. If you've ever been dissatisfied with the conditioner you find in the store, or be out of it, or had a burst of creativity, you may have experienced the same problem I have. You went to trusty old Google and looked up recipes for diy conditioner. This is what I found when I did that. I found plenty of recipes for deep-conditioning treatments that had to be left in the hair for hours, then washed out with shampoo, maybe followed by regular conditioner. I guess not too many people are that into making a replacement for their bottled conditioner from a recipe including ingredients easily obtained. In addition, many recipes for this sort of thing call for expensive, exotic ingredients.

So, I invented my own recipe. Here it is. It contains very few ingredients indeed, and they should be obtainable without any detective work, and without a trip to the more obscure parts of the health food store (or the market in Timbuktu). This conditioner is intended to be used as an ordinary part of your  hair-care routine. You don't have to keep it in your hair for three hours for it to do you some good. I will warn you, though, that it can leave your hair looking unusually shiny, like you've used gel. It may even look greasy. The greasy look can be reduced if you use ordinary conditioner afterwards, but don't feel you have to. This whole prejudice against greasy hair is a modern invention. Time was when people oiled their hair.

So, here's the recipe. Make a fresh batch for every wash, or keep the extra in the refrigerator. Take a generous spoonful of honey, and 1/4 of a teaspoon of a hair-friendly oil (I usually use olive) Add a cup or so of hot water. Use hot water so the ingredients will dissolve better.

In the shower, gather your hair and dip it into the conditioner, or pour it over your hair and catch the drips, then pour them over your hair again. You can get your hair wet first, or you can put it in the conditioner first thing. Don't put it on your scalp unless you have very short hair. I don't have a set time for leaving the hair in the conditioner, just keep it in as long as you would keep your ordinary conditioner in your hair before rinsing it out. Then, rinse out the conditioner and wash your hair.

Feel free to experiment with this recipe. You may find that using a different amount of oil or a different kind works best for you. You can add other ingredients if you like, such as essential oils, herbal infusions, aloe vera, etc. Do research and find out what your hair might like. If you come up with something really good, please do write about it in the comments section. 

Why be modest?

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."
Romans 15:1,2

I've heard it a lot, and I bet you have too, that telling women to dress modestly is sexist, is a form of body-shaming, sexualizes women, or undermines male responsibility for lustful thoughts. I have wondered about this issue myself. I must admit that I have sometimes worn things that weren't really modest, and have wondered if it matters. I once read an article stating that Paul's injunction to dress modestly was actually a command against showing off one's wealth through sumptuous clothes. I must confess that such linguistic matters are somewhat beyond me. However, I think there are good reasons to be modest, reasons from the Bible.

Modesty is a concession we make to men's weakness, a way we express love. There is a lot of talk nowadays about preserving one's rights, about standing up for oneself, etc. There is little talk about conceding one's rights for the good of others, but the Bible upholds doing so. Giving to the poor is an example of such a concession. While it would be wrong for a person in need to steal from somebody, it is perfectly fine for that person to give to the person in need. The command not to steal respects people's right to property while the command to give enjoins giving up that right for the good of others.

Another example, one inspired by the passage quoted above, is that of avoiding presenting temptation to people with certain weaknesses. For instance, if you have an alcoholic friend and were planning to invite that friend to a get-together, it would be kindest for you not to serve alcohol, even if you did not offer any of it to your friend. Even though you might argue that your friend should have the gumption to not drink even when alcohol is available, even if you are confident he can, it is still kind to avoid presenting him with temptation. It is a way you can be considerate towards your friend's weakness.

Now, most men have a weakness. (Note that I said most men, not all men.) It is hard for them not to lust when they see a woman dressed in a way that would be described as "scanty" from the point of view of your culture. That standard, will, of course, differ in different contexts, but the standard exists. In our culture, there is a certain tolerance for a degree of immodesty, a degree seen as sexy, but not taboo. By avoiding dress that makes things hard for men, we women can show love. We can help our brothers in Christ do their duty. I admit, it is a sacrifice. Do men deserve it? No. Jesus also made a sacrifice for you, even though you do not deserve it. Modest dress is a way for us to imitate Jesus and sacrifice for the good of others.

Note that I do not discount the problems many women have with male immodesty. However, I think female immodesty is much more prevalent in formal situations. For men, in general, the more formal the occasion, the more a man will be wearing. For a woman, things are not so simple. Outside of business wear, the fancier the occasion, the more likely a woman will have bare shoulders, etc. Our society permits women greater variety in dress, and greater immodesty.

There is an important warning I must issue here. Whenever people concede their rights for the good of others, abuse is possible. How can we avoid it? I don't pretend to be an expert, but I will offer a few words to men on having a proper attitude. Men, don't demand modesty, request it. Listen to women and make sure what you are asking is practical. We women are used to wearing less than you do, and may find ourselves uncomfortable wearing a lot of clothes in the summer. Bras can be difficult to hide, and may act as though they want to be seen. Women who are "gifted" may find it hard to find tops high enough without looking like old maids. Besides everything, remember that our fashions do not cater to modesty, cater less to modesty than yours, so dressing modestly and fashionably can be harder for us than for you. Bear with us, and forgive our failings. Never use immodesty as an excuse for lust, rape, exploitation, catcalling, or humiliation. You are responsible for yourselves.